I've never been a big fan of holidays. Don't get me wrong, I am in no way, shape or form against paid days off or the receipt of fabulous or even semi-fabulous gifts. Bring that shit ON!
Thanksgiving? A guaranteed 4-day weekend. Christmas? A pain in the ass and totally commercialized, but there's a purported birthday associated with it AND there are presents involved, so I'm down with that. Labor Day, Memorial Day, 4th of July? All keepers in my book even sans gifts. It's the guilt-induced holidays like Valentines Day that really cheese me off.
Let me be clear. I am madly in love with Him and entirely satisfied with our life. I show him how I feel and he shows me. In short, I'm all about the romance and love and crap. Demonstration of affection isn't the issue. Knock yourselves out. But singling out one arbitrary day to do it is just wrong and retailers making people feel bad for not spending a fortune on that one day is even worse.
Of course, I have trouble elucidating that at times. Again, I present direct testimony:
ME: Valentine's Day is a crock. Why should Hallmark and the Rose Growers Association be allowed to limit profession of love to one day per year?
HIM: No card or flowers. Got it. So your issue with it is that it doesn't go on long enough?
ME: Yeah. No. Uh, wait...
Anyhoo, being the anal-retentive type that I am, I decided to do a little research so that I might be better equipped to put my feelings into understandable terms and make my case to you, my dedicated and interested readers:
- The holiday's roots are in the ancient Roman festival of Lupercalia, a fertility celebration. Young women were whipped with strips of leather in order to make them more fertile. I'm 49. I'll pass, thanks.
- The St Valentine that's generally identified with the holiday had no known association with love or romance. Must have been one ugly son-of-a bitch.
- During the Middle Ages, it was commonly believed that February 14 was the beginning of birds' mating season, which gave way, via Geoffrey Chaucer's poetry, to the idea that Valentine's Day should be a day for romance. All I can say is, fucking birds.
- Legend has it that St. Valentine was beaten, stoned, and finally decapitated. Funny. They don't mention that on the cards.So here's my take. Valentine's Day is the brainchild of a sentimental Victorian era and based on the flimsiest of traditions, rooted in an arcane poetic reference by Chaucer to the saint's day of an obscure early martyr, who, by some accounts, couldn't get a date while standing in the middle of a medieval London whorehouse.
While I hesitate to speak for all women, I can say that I don't need the $300.00 bouquets of roses, the over priced Hallmark card or dinner at an expensive restaurant. I already have someone who will put down the toilet seat, cooks dinner every night, takes out the garbage, and pauses movies when I leave the room. That's all I could ever ask for, so I say Bah Humbug to the retail-mandated trappings of February 14th.
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| St. Val. See what I mean? |
Everyday is Valentine's Day Chez Ach.
Hearts and Kissiness, y'all,
Ach
P.S. For those of you unfamiliar with spatzies, here you go.
Women were whipped with strips of leather?! I'll pass also. Ouch. Interesting historical facts, though. I think Valentine's Day is the worst holiday of the bunch.
ReplyDeleteI know. The really good holidays are based on consumption of copious amounts of alcohol.
ReplyDeleteHmmm...we're not having much luck in the baby-making department. Maybe it's because I don't get whipped with leather often enough. Ha! (History is weird.)
ReplyDeleteI learned so much from this post. And, I'm allergic to flowers, and hate mass-produced greeting cards. But, I WILL inhale candy at a staggering rate.
ReplyDelete